Beginnings and Endings

I cry
on endings

at the end of a movie
the end of a book
the end of a relationship
the death of a loved one.

I cry
at beginnings

when a new life comes
when two hearts join as one
when there is so much joy in my heart
when my heart overflows with love.

I cry on beginnings and endings.

 
© Greymom

You Not Me

You chased me
I did not chase you
You chose me
you forced me to choose you
you picked me
I had to pick you
You make me
But I did not make you.

© Greymom

A Million Little Pieces

My heart is breaking
a million little pieces
betrayal
hurt
anger
frustration
helplessness.

I sit here in the dark
crying silently
the tears keep falling
not stopping.

I gave up a lot for you –
my friends
my fashion sense
my freedom
my confidence
my family
my life
and now,
it feels like
all of these
were for naught.

I wish you’ll just tell me.
So I can start picking up the pieces.

©Greymom

Not Enough

i will never be enough for you
no matter how i tried
no matter what i do
no matter what i say
it is all for naught
i will not be enough for you.

which now makes me think
why the hell
do i put up with this shit?

i am enough
smart,
articulate,
nice
as most people
who truly see me
describes me as such.

i may not be enough for you
but i am happy to be me.
© Greymom 

What I Used To Be

I used to have a life

I used to have feelings

I used to have friends

 I used to have dreams

I used to have my own thoughts

I used to make my own decisions

I used to be happy

I used to be me. 
© Greymom 

Just Wondering

I wonder what you’re doing

I wonder if you’re okay

I wonder if you think of me

I wonder if you dream of me 

I wonder if you remember

I wonder if you care. 
©  Greymom

1:03 am thoughts

I am in bed
but awake

perusing words of strangers
Taking it all in
the anguish
the sadness
the joy
the angst
life
And I try to sort my emotions,
a kaleidoscope of feelings –
longing
regret
fear.
Sleep eludes me
eyes wide open
cocooned in my blanket
my body tired
thoughts racing

I am in bed
but awake.