Brain Dead 

I thought that I have chased the demons away

The cobwebs that slowly crept in my brain

The fog that covers my mind

The emptiness, the blank, the hollow.

But – 

They’re back

Or maybe

They never left. 

Of Christmas trees and flickering lights 

  For the first time in forever,
there was no sadness nor loneliness.
None of the melancholy I feel
every Christmas time.

The tree is up,
the lights are on
and I am so glad to be home.

Colder days, awesome nights

      

It is getting colder again and I am happy. 

There is something about the cool breeze on my face,
the moon shining bright above
and the stillness of the night
that evokes nostalgia in me.
Good memories, mostly.
Memories of my youth,
of innocence
and simpler times. 

And so I wait
for the night time —
where I can go back
to what once was
and smile
as I remember. 

Lost

I cry
For the me that i lost
For the me that was strong
For the me who says what she wants to say,
do what she wants to do

I wish
One day I will find my voice
I will stand up on my own,
say what I want to say
Do what i want to do.

I wonder
When
And how
And where?

Published in: on October 7, 2016 at 10:13 pm  Leave a Comment  

1:03 am thoughts

I am in bed
but awake

perusing words of strangers
Taking it all in
the anguish
the sadness
the joy
the angst
life
And I try to sort my emotions,
a kaleidoscope of feelings –
longing
regret
fear.
Sleep eludes me
eyes wide open
cocooned in my blanket
my body tired
thoughts racing

I am in bed
but awake.

Published in: on March 5, 2016 at 2:29 am  Comments (2)  

After A While

After a while
it gets tiring
to always be the one
     who initiates
     who cares enough
           to go through lengths
                 to show how much I care

After a while
it gets pretty old
when all you do is give
and you don’t get anything in return

After a while
the waiting takes forever
and all you want to do
   is leave
   give up
   once and for all

After a while
it gets frustrating
and confusing
and mind boggling
        and you question
                  things
                     people
                         events
                            motives

After a while
the smile that has been pasted on your face freezes
over
and you frown
or cry
instead  of smile
And somehow
it makes you feel a little better
if only for a while.

Published in: on January 9, 2008 at 12:48 pm  Comments (7)  

Heaven on Earth

Sunset by the Beach
Sunset by the Beach at Point Lookout, Maryland

Nature’s wonders never ceases to amaze me.
The view is picturesque
more like a postcard
surreal but breathtakingly beautiful.

I stare at the wonder
of God’s handiwork
and am thankful
for being alive.

In the morning
after a night in the tent
I awaken
to the sounds of different birds
chirping,
calling,
beckoning,
to come and see
the promise of another day.

I wake up
and see
children playing outside
free from the cares of the world
not worrying
about whether a car will whizz by
or a stranger snatching them
as they play freely.

Fishing by the pier
I hear the water lapping
splashing against the rocks
as the silence
is interrupted
by the sound of a happy fisherman –
my husband.

This
right here
is heaven.

Published in: on July 4, 2007 at 12:11 am  Comments (4)