Saying Goodbye – When Relationships Ends

Scene 1:
a woman, trying to hold back tears as she says goodbye. She quickly collects her things – cellphone, pen, paper, contents that spilled when she accidentally knocked it to the side. “This is embarrassing”, she says, as she tried so hard to hide and wipe her tears at the same time. “Don’t be”, he says, his face in her hazy vision, that of a solemn, sorry expression. He told her she will be able to get past this. He produces papers- plans, directions, she had no idea as she hastily puts them all in her purse. “Goodbye, thank you for everything”. She wanted to hug him, but she didn’t trust herself – I might break down, she thinks to herself. And so she turns her back, opens the door, at the same time fumbling with her keys. She hurriedly runs to her car, turns the ignition on. Realizes he can see her from the window, she backs out and drives off.

Scene 2:
It was only after she turned on the next street did she let her tears fall away. Sobs, wails, breaks down, big fat ugly tears. The sound so foreign she didn’t think it was coming from her. And she couldn’t stop it. How could he? He knows the last one left her too. He could have been more gentle instead of just ripping the band aid off.
She drives, crying and driving in rush hour traffic. Not really caring if somebody sees her. Her whole body quakes as she sobs – continuously, endlessly.

Scenes from a movie? No, this is real life – the emotions are real. The pain is felt deep to the core.
This was me. Today, when my psychiatrist told me he is leaving.

I love going to the movies – seeing these images that tugs at your heart strings and you feel bad for the actors in the movie, for all the pain they are going through. Certain scenes, events, resonates with you and you feel sympathetic.

In this, I am the actor. Except —
I was not acting.

I feel like someone in my life, in my world – not the movie world, died.

And I am left to pick up the pieces.

James McAvoy marathon

 

I confess, after hearing Keira Knightley’s remark that James McAvoy is the best kisser among all her leading men, I was flabbergasted. What? Not Orlando Bloom? No! It can’t be. So then I watched the much talked about Atonement. But since my Blockbuster queue messed things up, I started with Becoming Jane with the ethereally beautiful Anne Hathaway. James plays the one that got away. The guy who supposedly inspired Jane Austen to write about love and romance. Now I am not the type who likes period drama and all those costumes makes me thank the heavens for the evolution of fashion. But this particular one, I liked. Love the flowing nightgowns. Love the prim and proper dialogues. All the propriety reminiscent or perhaps what inspired the chipmunks who speaks so politely: “shall we go?” “perhaps we should”. “after you” , “no, after you”. The actors were superb – Maggie Smith as the sinister Aunt, James Cromwell as Jane’s father, Julie Walters as Jane’s Mom.

Anyways, this is such a good movie. The thought that Jane had a love affair was very refreshing indeed. That she was so inlove but still let her mind rule over her heart was so heart wrenching and beautiful. And that was there, in that movie, that I fell inlove with James McAvoy.

Atonement was a highly acclaimed movie. A little dark and disturbing on some levels but it was the love story that mesmerized me. The acting was very good and once again, James stole my heart. The storyline was thought provoking and at the same time very heart wrenching. Keira Knightley is such a great actress and easy on the eyes too.

In the end, after watching both movies, I wholeheartedly agreed with Keira Knightley. Sorry, Orlando Bloom, it’s over between the two of us. It’s not you. It’s me.