Working Again

Starting a new job is really hard. Starting something new is intimidating, daunting, scary. And I felt all of those as I once again joined the workforce. Suddenly, I am the new girl. Except that I am older, in fact, one of the older
employees in a young, dynamic workplace. And I am the only one with kids. And so goes the challenge – trying to fit in in an unfamiliar territory. Where do I sit, is there some kind of unspoken rule as to who sits where? Will I be
stepping on other people’s toes if I do something? It’s hard.

They come to work in designer duds and Starbucks in hand. And I had to switch my wardrobe from stay-at-home-Mom comfy clothing to professional working woman attire. I am trying to blend in, fit in.

I feel like the new kid in school. Except that I am a grown woman and I am expected to know better. Which makes it doubly hard. Not to mention the traffic – driving to and from work, I was stuck in a traffic jam last week. For the first time in a long time, I felt so stressed out as I sat and fidgeted in my seat. I sat in there for a long time, I must’ve
memorized the whole Taylor Swift CD I had playing on.

The Tweens and TheFisherman had to get used to me not being around all the time. TheFisherman lamented that he cannot call me anytime he wants anymore. The Tweens had to call me with homework help and I had to tell them what to do over the phone on my lunch break. It tugged at my heartstrings, I have to admit. But I also had to toughen it up because we all talked about this and we decided that we all need for me to do this. And so we swallow it all down, this new set-up.

We’ll all get used to this, I know. It’s always the transition phase that’s challenging.  For now I am thankful that I have a job in these tough times. And that I found an almost perfect job and decided to go ahead and start all over again.

Wish me luck.

Published in: on January 31, 2009 at 5:20 pm  Comments (23)  
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TLC’s The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom

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There’s this new show on TLC entitled “The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom“. The premise of the show is that a Mom goes off for one week. Her family thinks she’s off to a spa getaway but the truth is that she’s on a one week soul searching journey. Reliving what she used to be or trying out what she’s always wanted to do. At the end of the week, she gets to decide whether to pursue a career or stay at home. I watched this episode where a former award- winning chef had to give up her career to care for her 2 toddlers and stay at home with the kids. I can totally relate. Of course I’m no award-winning chef but I did give up my career to stay at home and take care of my kids and husband. And seeing the woman be in her element in the kitchen was really something. She even said: “this is the best right here, just me with my spoon. I’m happy”.

It made me think of me. Of what I could have been and what I could become. There are restrictions now that I have kids. Daycare expenses, the thought of leaving the kids to strangers and letting them raise your kids does not appeal to me. So we make sacrifices. For the sake of the kids. For the sake of our marriage. For the sake of our husbands. And sometimes we get lost in the process. Who am I now? What have I become? And we lose the self-confidence, the self-esteem, the feeling of self-worth. Can I still do it? Will I be able to deliver?

Now I know that the TV producers just might have thought of this show as another way to make money and capitalizing on the reality-based shows’ successes. But it still made an impact and was thought provoking enough for me to write about it here in my blog. It made me pause and ponder.

I have yet to watch another episode. Once was enough to have made an impact.

image credits: www.tvguide.com

Published in: on March 28, 2008 at 12:43 pm  Comments (17)  
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