Listen

We talk 
but you do not listen.
we tell you
but you ignore.
we try to explain
but you brush it off.
we cry
but you do not hear.

you scoff
and say that nothing is wrong,
that we are okay.

watch out
we will be gone one day.

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Published in: on September 16, 2017 at 10:11 am  Leave a Comment  
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When Moms Attack

My Mom has come to visit and she has been staying with my sister, who needs her more. And it is fine by me. I see her occasionally, she comes over or we talk on the phone and chat about Korean dramas, my sister, my nieces and my Mom’s siblings.
I forgot how my Mom is. How she reacts to certain situations, her views about life and everything else and how negative, how much of a pessimist she can become.
Recently, she posted a picture of the family celebrating my son’s bday party. And I have given her explicit instructions not to post pictures of me because right now I do not look my best – I hate my hair, I am overweight and depressed.
Imagine my surprise and dread when I opened up my mail (I do not go on Facebook anymore) and got an email notification that I have been tagged in a posted picture. Sure enough, there I was in my most unflattering glory – fat hanging out, face as big as a dinner plate, guts spilling. Talk about reality staring at you right in the face.
I then immediately sent a text message to my Mom: ” OMG! I am so fat and ugly in that picture you posted!” Her reply: “hahaha, you really need to lose weight. I am watching a Korean drama”.
My co-workers tried their best to cheer me up after they saw my crest-fallen face and got the story but it just really bothered me.
I decided then and there that I will not go back home to subject myself to more criticism and negativity. I refuse to give in.

Don’t Worry, Be Happy 

  

My older son recently moved out. He has been out of our home for a little over a month now and I can finally talk about it without my eyes glossing over. 

It was bittersweet when he asked our permission that he was moving out. We were happy that he is spreading his wings and broadening his horizons. That he will finally learn to be independent. After all, one of my daily sermons was: “your Dad and I will not be here forever so try to learn how to fend for yourself”. But suddenly when you are in that moment, no matter how much you prepare, it is still a sad event. 

The first 3 days went on, my husband broke down on the 3rd day. He was bawling like I’ve never seen him since his Dad’s death 20 years ago. I comforted him and he was impressed that I was taking it much better than he is. 

Until the 7th day. 

It hit me at the cleaning aisle of the Home Depot, which, thank God, ws empty. Turns out mine was a delayed reaction. 

Fast forward and today marks the 38th day and my younger son’s bday. We all met at the restaurant. He came in hurriedly from work. “Sorry”, he says “I hope you all didn’t have to wait long”. He looked happy as he animatedly recounted his kitchen adventures and how he is teaching his 2 roommates how to cook as well. How he started his work-out regime and his “portion-control-and-not-a-lot-of-carbs/rice” diet. He looked good, healthy and happy. 

And just like that – everything is alright with my world again.

 

Published in: on November 8, 2015 at 9:38 pm  Comments (2)  
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