Facebook, Twitter, Social Media & Me

It took me so long before I finally succumbed to the evil that is Facebook. The brag book of the current time, I resisted creating an account even though everybody I know was wondering why they can’t find and “friend” me.

And so I did. I started with a few friends, only the close ones, family and some of my co-workers.

And it grew and grew. Before I knew it, I have about 559 “friends”.

It all started out innocently- updating on friends’ lives, seeing how they’re doing, where they’re at, how they look like. Then it became a little stalkerish- where did they spend the weekend and with whom? And then it became a moral issue- a “friend” suddenly unfriended me, I think she was trying to get rid of her friends pre-boob job. Some people who post religious stuff got to be too preachy and holier than thou= hide posts. A friend who only posts selfies (real close-up selfies!) = hide posts. Then you see supposed friends who went someplace else when they canceled on you at the last minute because they were “sick”. And why do I not get that many likes nor comments on my posts? Feeling of inadequacy and questioning my self-worth, I finally decided to be “inactive”. And now I get the questions as to why I’m never on Facebook.

I did twitter so that I can join fellow “Beauty and the Beast” fans to get the show trending and to get a second season. We got the second season. Done. I have stopped posting now.

I did Get Glue to help with ratings of TV shows that I liked, only to have said shows canceled after a few episodes/seasons (Revolution? Are you kidding me? That was an awesome show!)

Instagram started out because I “followed” these two celebrities (cheesy, I know, don’t judge me). And I like looking at fashion and cupcakes. It has been 6 months since I posted anything.

Will I fall prey to yet another? We shall see.

Published in: on September 9, 2014 at 11:32 pm  Leave a Comment  
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When I’m Feeling Blue

 

Image Credits: Starry Night  Depression by Tyler Robbins

Image Credits: Starry Night Depression by Tyler Robbins

I don’t know if it was the time or the culture, but growing up, I did not pay attention nor was I informed about mental health. All we had back then was a sanitarium, a mental hospital that held “crazy people”. The words Depression, Mental health, schizophrenia, Bipolar, Anxiety attacks, etc were all foreign to me. Sure, I read about them in books but there are really some things that, unless you experience it first hand, you will never understand.

During my early years, I had experienced depression, anxiety and panic attacks. I did not know then nor did I have any inkling that I was experiencing all these things. I chalked it up to family drama and teenage angst.

Fast forward about 3 decades later and I was able to define what I had and still have. Looking back, I was able to understand myself better and in doing so had some semblance of peace with myself.

I have now been officially diagnosed with anxiety and depression and being treated for it as well. More on this on the next post.

I have been wanting to write about this as soon as I heard that Robin Williams committed suicide. My thoughts were: I do hope more people become aware of mental health and have a better understanding, explore treatment options and get all the support from family and friends.  We have a long way to go.

Published in: on September 7, 2014 at 11:09 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Regrets

One thing that I will always regret for the rest of my life is breaking up with my then boyfriend of more than 3 years via a Dear John letter.

I am so ashamed that I did this.

It sounded like a good idea at that time – less drama, ripping the band-aid off and closing a chapter in my life. Plus I was peer pressured into doing it.

But he deserved better. Even if he cheated on me first by hooking up with a girl while we were together. Two wrongs don’t make a right. For his family though, never mind that he was the one who wronged me first, I will forever be that bitch who broke their pretty boy’s heart.

It has been so long now, ancient history, really. But there are some moments in your life that sticks to your memory forever, something that will leave a bad taste in your mouth.

This was one of them.

 

Published in: on July 26, 2014 at 2:03 am  Comments (2)  
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Bad Day

I had one of the worst days at work today. And it sucked! Big time! 

It’s how it took one bad day for me to go back to blogging again, but for that I am grateful. It has been a while and I miss it. So instead of making a big comeback and writing a hearts and peaches blog entry, I am just writing as it is. Because life is not perfect. 

 

It it does not help that it is still snowing in my part of the world. Even though the calendar says it is officially Spring. It has officially been Spring 6 days ago. 

Maybe Punxsutawney Phil can retire now. 

 

Image

Published in: on March 26, 2014 at 9:13 pm  Comments (2)  
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Back

I cannot believe how long it has been since I blogged. Not that I don’t want to but because I just didn’t know where to start, so many things have happened in the past few years —

I am still working, but only part time now. Husband and I realized how hard it is to raise teenagers. Especially in this day and age where instilling good values and morals can be quite a challenge. Homework is a constant battle and sleeping late has been a consistent thing. I cringe every time I get an email thinking it’s going to be from a teacher. And bullying has been a problem for my younger son.

And so between being called to their school for teacher conferences and making sure they’re on top of their schoolwork and getting the house in order, working part time is the best way to go.

And yet, I still do not have time.

There are so many things I want to do. And right now I am in a difficult place. It’s the same feeling right there after college where you don’t know what to do and where to go. It is more frightening than exciting for me right now though.

So I turn back to blogging.

 

Published in: on September 20, 2011 at 12:15 pm  Comments (2)  

Missing In Action

It has been a very long time since I have blogged. And I miss it. I do. I think about it every single day. I miss my blogger friends. I miss reading about other people’s stories and catching up on some I have been following for the past few years. 

But

Life has been moving too quickly for me. Too quick before I can even write a single sentence. And it doesn’t help that I have no iPhone to write on and a computer nearby to jot down my thoughts on. 

And so I wait.

For the day that I will be able to finally sit down and write.

Published in: on June 11, 2009 at 6:51 pm  Comments (7)  

Working Again

Starting a new job is really hard. Starting something new is intimidating, daunting, scary. And I felt all of those as I once again joined the workforce. Suddenly, I am the new girl. Except that I am older, in fact, one of the older
employees in a young, dynamic workplace. And I am the only one with kids. And so goes the challenge – trying to fit in in an unfamiliar territory. Where do I sit, is there some kind of unspoken rule as to who sits where? Will I be
stepping on other people’s toes if I do something? It’s hard.

They come to work in designer duds and Starbucks in hand. And I had to switch my wardrobe from stay-at-home-Mom comfy clothing to professional working woman attire. I am trying to blend in, fit in.

I feel like the new kid in school. Except that I am a grown woman and I am expected to know better. Which makes it doubly hard. Not to mention the traffic – driving to and from work, I was stuck in a traffic jam last week. For the first time in a long time, I felt so stressed out as I sat and fidgeted in my seat. I sat in there for a long time, I must’ve
memorized the whole Taylor Swift CD I had playing on.

The Tweens and TheFisherman had to get used to me not being around all the time. TheFisherman lamented that he cannot call me anytime he wants anymore. The Tweens had to call me with homework help and I had to tell them what to do over the phone on my lunch break. It tugged at my heartstrings, I have to admit. But I also had to toughen it up because we all talked about this and we decided that we all need for me to do this. And so we swallow it all down, this new set-up.

We’ll all get used to this, I know. It’s always the transition phase that’s challenging.  For now I am thankful that I have a job in these tough times. And that I found an almost perfect job and decided to go ahead and start all over again.

Wish me luck.

Published in: on January 31, 2009 at 5:20 pm  Comments (23)  
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New Year

I welcomed 2009 with a bottle of rum and Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On”. Nope, I wasn’t channeling my inner Jack Sparrow (though I highly doubted Celine Dion will be his artist of choice), I was just going along for the ride. A friend wanted to drink after more than a year of no liquor (she was pregnant) and she wanted me to join her have a drink. How can I deny her of something she has been thirsting for a long time? A dried up well parched with nary a drop of liquid? Needless to say, I willingly joined her and we had a good time.

As for Celine Dion? We  had a game and I was forced to sing, the audience was forced to listen and I was forced to pose for the camera.

I feel differently about the song now.

Happy New Year!!!

Published in: on January 4, 2009 at 8:56 pm  Comments (4)  
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