A Mother’s Concerns

I worry about him constantly, endlessly

Is he eating okay?

When he’s driving in the rain, does he turn his lights on?

When he comes home late, is it safe for him to walk to his apartment?

Is he working too much? Taking on extra shifts?

Does he get along well with his roommates? 

Do they all chip in and doesn’t let him cook all the time?

Does he miss us as much as we miss him?

Will he ever come back home? 

Does this get any easier? 
© Greymom 

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Live and Let Go 

I stare at him across the table. He looks tired but still manages to tell us about his day – how this is one of the busiest time at his workplace and how he was running around like a chicken with his head cut off. We listen to him, his brother looks on, hanging on his every word. His Dad nods as they sit side by side. 

He said he is working more hours, one of his co-workers he really likes is moving away and so is his manager. He is sad, he says but is okay. He is growing up, my son. 

He moved away, after all, to be independent. And so far he seems to be doing fine. 

I, however, am not.  

I still feel sad whenever he leaves, I miss him a lot. I can’t help but get all choked up whenever I pass by his room. His door that creaks whenever he opens it is now eerily silent.

 I keep his bed clean with crisp sheets, his favorite comforter and his fleece blanket in the hopes that he will once again lay there. 

Each time he comes to visit, I drop everything and make sure I give him my full attention. I over feed him and make him take more food – from the fridge, the pantry, the table. 

It doesn’t get easier. Each time he leaves, he takes a piece of my heart. I hug him and tell him I love him, be careful driving. He assures me he will and that he loves me too. 

He leaves and I stay standing at the door until his car is no longer visible. I go back to whatever I was doing, trying hard to make it as I die a thousand times deep inside. 

  

 

Published in: on November 22, 2015 at 12:17 am  Comments (2)  

Don’t Worry, Be Happy 

  

My older son recently moved out. He has been out of our home for a little over a month now and I can finally talk about it without my eyes glossing over. 

It was bittersweet when he asked our permission that he was moving out. We were happy that he is spreading his wings and broadening his horizons. That he will finally learn to be independent. After all, one of my daily sermons was: “your Dad and I will not be here forever so try to learn how to fend for yourself”. But suddenly when you are in that moment, no matter how much you prepare, it is still a sad event. 

The first 3 days went on, my husband broke down on the 3rd day. He was bawling like I’ve never seen him since his Dad’s death 20 years ago. I comforted him and he was impressed that I was taking it much better than he is. 

Until the 7th day. 

It hit me at the cleaning aisle of the Home Depot, which, thank God, ws empty. Turns out mine was a delayed reaction. 

Fast forward and today marks the 38th day and my younger son’s bday. We all met at the restaurant. He came in hurriedly from work. “Sorry”, he says “I hope you all didn’t have to wait long”. He looked happy as he animatedly recounted his kitchen adventures and how he is teaching his 2 roommates how to cook as well. How he started his work-out regime and his “portion-control-and-not-a-lot-of-carbs/rice” diet. He looked good, healthy and happy. 

And just like that – everything is alright with my world again.

 

Published in: on November 8, 2015 at 9:38 pm  Comments (2)  
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Back

I cannot believe how long it has been since I blogged. Not that I don’t want to but because I just didn’t know where to start, so many things have happened in the past few years —

I am still working, but only part time now. Husband and I realized how hard it is to raise teenagers. Especially in this day and age where instilling good values and morals can be quite a challenge. Homework is a constant battle and sleeping late has been a consistent thing. I cringe every time I get an email thinking it’s going to be from a teacher. And bullying has been a problem for my younger son.

And so between being called to their school for teacher conferences and making sure they’re on top of their schoolwork and getting the house in order, working part time is the best way to go.

And yet, I still do not have time.

There are so many things I want to do. And right now I am in a difficult place. It’s the same feeling right there after college where you don’t know what to do and where to go. It is more frightening than exciting for me right now though.

So I turn back to blogging.

 

Published in: on September 20, 2011 at 12:15 pm  Comments (2)  

First Day of School

The first day of school was on Tuesday and to say that I was harassed that day would be an understatement. As we were in FL for Tween1’s locker night where they were given their lockers and locker combinations, Tween1 didn’t have a locker for the first day of school. Which meant he had to lug around all his school supplies in a paper bag. Which meant that he had to come to school early so that he can talk to someone who’ll give him his locker info. And since school starts real early for him this year – 7:40 am as opposed to 8:45 AM, he had to make it to school before 7:20 am. Which meant that he had to be driven to school before 7:00 am. Which meant that I had to wake up around 6:00 am. Which I never really do. I am not a morning person. Never was, never will be.

But oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do and so he was driven to school only to be told that it’ll be done later. The poor kid had to carry all his school supplies in a paper bag and he came home with blisters on his fingers. So we had to go back again to the school and told them about the locker thing and they told us to do it the next day because it has to be done specifically on the 5th period.

So Tween1 finally got his locker the next day.

Tween2 on the other hand wasn’t able to go to his school open house because of the FL thing. And so he didn’t know where his room is located. And so after I dropped off Tween1, I had to go with Tween2, walk with him to his classroom and made sure he was okay.

Let’s not forget my MIL in this equation. She had to be taken to the dentist at 8:30 am as she had a toothache. At the same day my kids were starting school. And after an hour at the dentist, we had to go to Walmart to fill her prescription. And we had to wait for 2 hours because, as the pharmacy tech sternly informed me: “there are 100 hundred people before you”.

We got home just in time for me grab a quick lunch and went and picked up the kids.

Back to school, back to craziness.

Published in: on September 5, 2008 at 10:43 pm  Comments (6)  
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Semi-Hiatus

It’s been a whole lot of fun – the beach vacation. We spent 4 days and 3 nights by the beach and we have the tan to prove it. The Fisherman had a great time fishing whenever he felt like it. He was rewarded with 25 pieces of blue fish that are now comfortably encased in gallon ziploc bags, waiting to be devoured by the family.
We went with another family which made it more fun and cost effective. We brought pre-cooked meals that we can just microwave whenever needed. I baked enough cupcakes, bread and pastries enough to food an army. Soda, juice and milk and some wine and beer washed ’em all down and we were content and happy. At least we didn’t have to think about what to cook for the next meal, nor did we spend time making them. Instead it was all a walk to the beach, the kids catching the waves and me and my Mommy friend soaking up the sun underneath a beach umbrella. The sand in our toes, me and my straw hat and a bottle of ice cold water. We took in the scene – young men and women parading in their bikinis and surf shorts, all tan and buff. My friend and I looked at them and reminisced about the days when we were just as fit and trim. Ahhh, youth.

Going back home, we were bombarded with the reality of life once again – SOLs, housework, office work and what-have-yous. We once again fell in the routine of our daily lives. And looked forward to another vacation in the distant future.

TheFisherman and I decided to forgo with our home improvement projects. We opted to build memories instead. And so yes, the money that would have gone to the projects will now go to vacations and spending time with the family. It’s a better investment that a beautiful patio or a flagstoned stoop.

School will be out for the Tweens in just a few days, June 12th to be exact. And they are counting down the days while I am still reeling from the fact that school lets out early this year.

The MIL’s visit has been postponed due to a health related cause. And now it looks like my BIL might come with her too.

Overall, it has been crazy in our household lately. I wish I can crunch more hours in a day. But for now I will survive. And brace myself for what is to come.

I might not be able to blog a lot, if at all, for a while. I will try my best. I miss “visiting” my blogger friends and reading about their lives and stories. I will do so one day once the craziness has died down. For now I will be on semi-hiatus. Hope y’all have a great summer!

Published in: on June 3, 2008 at 7:26 pm  Comments (16)  

Conversations with My 11 year old

Some snippets of our conversation:

On seeing me take my earrings off

Tween1: Why do girls wear earrings anyway?
Me: To make us look prettier
Tween1 (aghast): Why? That’s not right. That’s self-mutilation!
Me: Well, in tribes they even have those huge plates hanging from their mouth and rings on their necks.
Tween1: But still!

While driving on top of the hill and admiring the view:

Me: Oh look at that beautiful view?
Tween1: What’s beautiful about it? They cut down trees to build houses.
Me: Well the houses’ colors looks really nice.
Tween1: It would have been nicer if the only color is green – for all the trees.
Me: But still!

 

 

Published in: on April 14, 2008 at 10:22 am  Comments (15)  
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PB&J Elvis Style

I saw this at Paula Deen’s show. Since I had all ingredients on hand and anticipating the arrival of my hungry sons ready to pounce on whatever after-school snacks there are, I hurried and made these.

Apparently, The King himself, Elvis Presley loves these Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches with bananas. Now this is a good way for a Mom to sneak in some fruit in a snack. Covered with the gooey peanut butter and slathered with the jelly, the bananas are unrecognizable. The added effect of the bread toasted and covered in cinnamon sugar made it more appealing to the young eyes. It was a cinch to make but I had a slice myself and approved this recipe. Kid tested, mother approved indeed!

Recipe can be found here.

 

 

Published in: on April 9, 2008 at 10:22 am  Comments (11)  
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