Bullying in School

My youngest son G just told me this morning on the way to school that he was bullied last year by a classmate of his. He was crying as he was telling me what transpired. He said a classmate of his was twisting his foot and as he was telling me that he was holding his foot. I got mad and told him: “and you’re telling me this now? why?” And he said: “because I forgot as soon as I got home”. He said he wasn’t able to tell the teacher because it was an assembly and they all had to remain quiet. After the anger came sympathy for him. My heart was breaking in pieces as I was looking at his tear-stricken face. Aren’t we supposed to shield our children from harm? Why can’t we be there for them when things like this happen? Why are there bad kids in this world? All of these things were going through my mind. Add to that the feeling of disdain and anger at the boy who did it to him. One can never explain nor put into words the emotions that a mother goes through every time her child gets hurt. Life can be tough sometimes and being a mother, you would think we’ve seen it all, experienced it all. But sometimes it gets to you. You try your best to provide a good and safe environment for your child but what’s out there – you can never guarantee. We try our best to arm our children with the necessary weapons – faith, hope, self-esteem, Taekwondo lessons and yet sometimes it’s just not enough. There will always be good and bad in everything, I know.

During times like this, mothers can’t help but feel like they failed in something. Did I forgot to tell them about bullying? Was he afraid of the kid more than he was afraid of me? Is he growing up with low self-esteem? Has he stopped believing in himself?

As soon as they get home from school we are having a talk again – about bullying, about believing in oneself, that telling doesn’t mean being wimpy and that the world is still okay. Even with the bad.

Published in: on September 24, 2007 at 8:57 am  Comments (7)  

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7 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. That’s a very good idea talking to your kids about bullying. Sometimes na-traumatized mga bata at hanggang paglaki nila naapektuhan yung personality. Oh well, as mothers we can just do our best to prepare our kids in this crazy world we live in. Kakatakot!

  2. Hi MOM! True ka dyan. It’s really hard being a Mom especially when things like this happens. Para bang kinukurot ang puso ng nanay sa mga moments na ganito, ano?

  3. Hi Mary,

    That’s awful! I have a blog post cooking for Parenting in PMN about bullying. I have to do it soon. We are enrolling my Lil K too at Taekwondo. Karate is in a part of town that I don’t want to drive in so, Taekwondo is the alternative.

    I’ve been thinking of asking my father to send me a BOLO but I think it’s a bad idea because if I get angry at someone hurting my child, I WILL USE IT!

  4. Tina, re the bolo, hahaha!

    Mary, it is not just kurot, you may even personally want to w.r.i.n.g. the neck of the one who hurt your child, be it physically or through words.

    How is your son G now? Is he having some problems about going to school and seeing the bully?

  5. I’m sorry to hear that. I was bullied by my classmate back in grade school. She told me that bad things will happen to my family if I don’t give her my Sanrio. I was so young and I believed her. It had quite an impact on me because I got really scared for my family but I’m glad that my mom noticed changes in me and was able to put the pieces together. She talked to my teacher and the lil’ culprit was reprimanded.

    It’s good that you help G understand the situation by talking to him about it. Hope G will not experience that again. Wishing him well.

  6. Hi Tina! LOL at the bolo! It does help a little bit – knowing your kids go to martial arts. Kahit paano makakatulong. Not that we want them to hit back, for defense lang.

    Hi Julie! Tell me about it! I wanted to go to the school there and then and confront the kid. G is such a sweet child, why the heck someone would hurt him is beyond me. He’s doing better now though. I think it was an isolated case. He said there was an assembly that’s why he wasn’t able to say anything and then when he got home he forgot to tell me. Buti na lang. Otherwise, I would have stormed the school there and then!

    Hi Rach! I’m glad that your bully was reprimanded. And I’m sorry about what it did to you. No child should ever be bullied. Thanks. I told G that if it ever happens again to tell me or his teacher no matter what the circumstances are.

  7. sorry, am a little late in giving my comments.

    i understand what you felt about this whole thing. as a mother, i would be mad, too. i hope things are better now with your son.

    my daughters were bullied, too, especially my eldest one who was frail and sickly because of asthma. but they never really told me. they fought back, i guess or avoided them completely. believe it or not, she just had several close friends in high school. and look who made it to the top first? she shut the bulliers up!

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