A Conversation with my Boys


On the way to TaeKwon Do class yesterday, my kids and I had this interesting conversation:

C: Did you know J (his best friend) has been breaking up with his girlfriend for a long time now but gets back together with her again and again?
Me: Why is that?
C: Well, he breaks up with her and then she cries and then he feels sorry for her so he gets back together with her.
G: So he’s the one who’s dumping her?
C: yeah, pretty much.
Me: That’s not nice. And that’s not fair to the girl for him to stay with her just because he feels sorry for her.
G: Yeah, tell him to find another girlfriend.
C: Well, he likes E but I dunno how that’s going to work.

Okay, lest you think I am making a big deal about this, let me just say I did not expect this type of conversation with my kids. I’m all for being open with your kids about most everything that is age-appropriate. And being in this day and age – the YouTube generation where everything can be seen and heard, where everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame. In the age of TMI – too much information, I cannot, of course be on a 24/7 watch (especially in school where there are other kids who are exposed to questionable behavior and language ) as to what my kids see and hear. As parents, we try to do the best that we can. But still, there are times when we are caught unawares by some of the things our kids say and do. In this case, although I have heard that most of C’s classmates have boyfriends and girlfriends, I did not realize that these things are taken “seriously” (for lack of a better word) by 6th graders. And G? I did not know that “dumping (a girlfriend)” was in his vocabulary. He is, after all, 9 years old.

It was an amusing conversation and yet a mild nudge on my part that hey, kids grow up. Whether we like it or not. And the best thing that we can do is to be there for them. To take the opportunity to find the lesson in each life’s events. To teach them the value of love, understanding and an open mind.

And that’s what kept me from freaking out.

Published in: on September 21, 2007 at 9:35 am  Comments (9)  

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9 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. oh you have boys and i have two daughters, i might freak out too, hehe!

  2. Hi Mary. That’s an interesting conversation between the boys. It’s amazing how mature kids are in this generation.

  3. Aww I think kids just mature faster these days with the advent of technology. I am sure they were pleased with your advice. Without being obvious about it, they seek our advice in simple chats with them.

  4. Hi Mary, I also overheard my kids (my girls)talking about the schoolmates who already have their boyfriends, I told them it’s ok to have one as long as the relationship doesn’t affect their studies (I was referring to the schoolmates). But I also told them, “for you two, it’s not allowed yet (they’re only 10 & 6) and wait until you’re already working” and they both laughed…he he.

  5. Kids today really grow up much faster than us, back in the day. I get stunned when I hear my kid (4 years old) talk because it’s not the typical preschool talk that I know. Mature lang sila ngayon. As long as none of it is really serious, ok lang yan. And andyan naman tayo for some PG (parental guidance) kung kinakailangan 🙂

  6. Hi Kengkay! My husband feels lucky that we have boys because according to him: “I won’t feel as nervous with the boys than girls”. 🙂

    Hi Rach! Tell me about it. It is amazing what kids know now.

    Hi Ms. Noemi! True. And I always make it a point to watch what I say – to give sound advice wihthout sounding preachy. 😉

    Hi Rowena! It’s a good thing we’re here to keep our kids in check huh? 🙂

    Hi Cookie! True ka dyan, PG tayo sa mga kids natin. Hope you’re enjoying your va-cay!

  7. Only 9 with this kind of conversation? I wonder paano na pag laki ng mga anak ko..siguro sobrang advanced pa. Kinda scary but that’s reality that we have to deal with 🙂

  8. Hi MOM! That’s why shocked ang beauty ko! Imagine 9! eh ako nang time na yan wala pang kamuwang muwang!

  9. hehehe, kids are so advanced nowadays. and kids have girlfriends much earlier. good thing they have a cool mom to offer guidance when needed.

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