Another what???


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For some reason, my youngest son G wants me to have a baby. When I asked him why he said “’cause I don’t have anyone to play with. Kuya (older brother) annoys me too much?” I felt really bad for him when he said that because he was on the brink of tears. My older son C is really annoying at times so G was telling the truth. C teases him a lot and G cries easily. And I deal with this every. single. day!DH wants me to have another baby too. Me? I don’t want to have any more. “It might be a girl” DH tells me. “But what if it’s another boy?Then we’ll have 3 boys now!”, I lament. “Then we’ll have to have another one then”. I roll my eyes in response to his reasoning. Seriously, they expect me to have a baby just because it might be a girl? And just because Kuya teases a lot? No freaking way! As it is with the 2 boys running all over the place I feel incredibly ancient. Jurassic even! And then they’ll add another baby to the mix? Hello! Wouldn’t I be better off with a hammer on my head?

I mean, I have been a SAHM for a while now because we didn’t want to entrust the kids’ care to just any daycare provider. And now that they’re in an age where we’re pretty confident that the right values have been inculcated and we trust their decisions, and that finally the possibility of me working again is so near I can taste it, here comes another baby? Diapers, sleepless nights, ear infections – those are the only things I can think of. Granted that the sight of a cute, chubby baby is very appealing and all but still the icky factor outweighs the cuteness factor. And so i say NO. Am I selfish for thinking this? Had we been in the Philippines where the kids can have a full time nanny and they’ll be surrounded by relatives, I wouldn’t have had second thoughts. But we are here in a country where having a nanny is almost a luxury and we are far away from relatives. And the thought of me raising yet another human being and starting from square one scares the hell out of me. So I say NO.  

Published in: on June 19, 2007 at 12:18 am  Comments (8)  

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8 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I’m in exactly the same situation except that my husband is not rushing me or anything. In my case I have 2 girls and I’m “expected”, take note ha “expected”, to have another child because, “wala pa kaming lalaki.” Personally, I also don’t want another child. Even if I have a yaya for the kids, I still am a very hands-on parent.

  2. If you dont want to have a baby, wag muna. I know the feeling of being on the square one situation. It’s hard. I know it’s harder for you coz you have 2 boys already. Decision made–you go girl.

  3. i totally agree with you, greymom. it’s not that easy, especially if you are a hands-on parent. motherhood starts from the time you get pregnant until your kids are in their 40’s. LOL! i only have one child, who is turning 5 this year, and i am still unsure whether to have another one.

  4. i could imagine how difficult it is, even just thinking about it is already unimaginable. take it easy, greymom. the final decision is always yours.

  5. Having another baby is not just about getting pregnant nor giving birth. It is about (almost a lifetime of) decisions, responsibilities, financial obligations among other things.

    Hope you will be able to come up with the right decision, plus loads of explanation, 🙂

  6. @Kong: we’re on the same page then. sabi ko nga sa asawa ko: “siguro kung ikaw ang magbubuntis, payag ako” 😀

    @Lizzz: Thanks, Sis!

    @Smarie: So true. I am a hands on parent. And being the only person who stays with them 24/7 of course I have my trepidations. Ako din naman mahihirapan di ba?

    @Angel: Thanks, I don’t think about it anymore unless DH brings up the topic. Then I get stressed! LOL

    @Julie: Very very true!!! It surely is a lifetime commitment.

  7. I also take the responsibility of having another baby seriously that’s why we are thinking whether to have another child or not. My son, Yohan is turning 4 soon and it seems the perfect time to have another child but deep inside I’m not sure I would want another child. I’m happy with my son but my husband wants one more. He said it’s lonely for a child to grow up without any sibling.

  8. Hi Rach,
    It is such a great responsibility for us Moms. Aren’t you amazed at women who had more than 4 kids? How were they able to keep their sanity after having lots of kids? My hats off to them.
    But having kids nowadays is something to think about – the high cost of living, the emotional and physical toll on the Moms, etc are some of the things to consider. See, you only have one and you’re thinking long and hard on whether or not to have one more. As for men, well, they’re not the ones who goes through the aches and pains of pregnancy so “the more the merrier” for them. LOL

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