There are times when I feel sorry for some of the things I’ve said or the things that I’ve done. Nothing major, really. It’s more of a “I-wish-I-did-not-do/say-that’ after a moment of introspection. An example is when I told a new friend that we (meaning my husband and I) don’t let other people get close enough to us unless we’re pretty sure what kind of people they are. After I said that, I felt bad and hoped I would take it back. I tried to explain the best way I can but even I wasn’t convinced of my explanation. Now I feel like I shouldn’t have said what I said in the first place.
Anyways, no crying over spilled milk. I always have these feelings. Brought along, I think, of my feelings of insecurity and inadequacies. I guess the best thing to do is to suck it up and try my best not to come out as snobbish or offensive.
In the good old days when I was young, I did not care much about what other people think of me. The carefree days of youth. All we cared about was getting through life without getting into a major breakdown or a monumental drama. But now that I have grown more mature (don’t want to say old), I care about what other people think. DH says I care too much sometimes. Shouldn’t I be more comfortable in my own skin now that I am older? Or am I feeling this way because I am a SAHM and lack human interaction?
Whatever the reason, I really felt bad about that incident. Hopefully in the next get-together I would be able to redeem myself. Or maybe, just maybe, the other person didn’t take it to heart at all.

Published in: on May 8, 2007 at 9:22 am  Leave a Comment  

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