You Without Me

I only see you in pictures now
Not ones you send, no.

We do not talk
we do not communicate
Instead we observe each other
from a distance
both not wanting to let
the other know.

Today I saw a picture of you –
being happy without me
having a life outside
of us
of what we used to be.

You are better off without me
you are where you should be
you deserve
someone
anyone
but me.

Beginnings and Endings

I cry
on endings

at the end of a movie
the end of a book
the end of a relationship
the death of a loved one.

I cry
at beginnings

when a new life comes
when two hearts join as one
when there is so much joy in my heart
when my heart overflows with love.

I cry on beginnings and endings.

 
© Greymom

You Not Me

You chased me
I did not chase you
You chose me
you forced me to choose you
you picked me
I had to pick you
You make me
But I did not make you.

© Greymom

Published in: on March 24, 2016 at 10:40 pm  Leave a Comment  
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A Million Little Pieces 

My heart is breaking
a million little pieces
betrayal
hurt
anger
frustration
helplessness.

I sit here in the dark
crying silently
the tears keep falling
not stopping.

I gave up a lot for you –
my friends
my fashion sense
my freedom
my confidence
my family
my life
and now,
it feels like
all of these
were for naught.

I wish you’ll just tell me.
So I can start picking up the pieces.

©Greymom

Not Enough

i will never be enough for you
no matter how i tried
no matter what i do
no matter what i say
it is all for naught
i will not be enough for you.

which now makes me think
why the hell
do i put up with this shit?

i am enough
smart,
articulate,
nice
as most people
who truly see me
describes me as such.

i may not be enough for you
but i am happy to be me.
© Greymom 

Published in: on March 20, 2016 at 12:53 am  Comments (2)  
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What I Used To Be 

I used to have a life

I used to have feelings

I used to have friends

 I used to have dreams

I used to have my own thoughts

I used to make my own decisions

I used to be happy

I used to be me. 
© Greymom 

Published in: on March 16, 2016 at 7:24 pm  Comments (3)  
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Just Wondering 

I wonder what you’re doing

I wonder if you’re okay

I wonder if you think of me

I wonder if you dream of me 

I wonder if you remember

I wonder if you care. 
©  Greymom

Published in: on March 5, 2016 at 2:42 am  Leave a Comment  
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1:03 am thoughts

I am in bed
but awake

perusing words of strangers
Taking it all in
the anguish
the sadness
the joy
the angst
life
And I try to sort my emotions,
a kaleidoscope of feelings –
longing
regret
fear.
Sleep eludes me
eyes wide open
cocooned in my blanket
my body tired
thoughts racing

I am in bed
but awake.

Published in: on March 5, 2016 at 2:29 am  Comments (2)  
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