I’m Not Here

Today was a weird day.
Surreal.
As if I was living a life not my own –
doing things that were common
yet alien to me.
As if I was watching a movie
and not living another day in my life .
As if I was there
but not.
And at the end of the day,
I am still unable to shake the feeling.
I was here.
But not. 

Published in: on May 21, 2017 at 2:47 am  Leave a Comment  
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Windy Days and Cool Nights

There is something
about windy days
and cool nights
that takes me back to the past.
I turn pensive
and I pause
feel the wind on my face,
look up at the sky,
at the stars
and I smile.
I remember
the me
I used to be.

Published in: on March 19, 2017 at 10:00 am  Leave a Comment  
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Brain Dead 

I thought that I have chased the demons away

The cobwebs that slowly crept in my brain

The fog that covers my mind

The emptiness, the blank, the hollow.

But – 

They’re back

Or maybe

They never left. 

Of Christmas trees and flickering lights 

  For the first time in forever,
there was no sadness nor loneliness.
None of the melancholy I feel
every Christmas time.

The tree is up,
the lights are on
and I am so glad to be home.

Colder days, awesome nights

      

It is getting colder again and I am happy. 

There is something about the cool breeze on my face,
the moon shining bright above
and the stillness of the night
that evokes nostalgia in me.
Good memories, mostly.
Memories of my youth,
of innocence
and simpler times. 

And so I wait
for the night time —
where I can go back
to what once was
and smile
as I remember. 

Lost

I cry
For the me that i lost
For the me that was strong
For the me who says what she wants to say,
do what she wants to do

I wish
One day I will find my voice
I will stand up on my own,
say what I want to say
Do what i want to do.

I wonder
When
And how
And where?

Published in: on October 7, 2016 at 10:13 pm  Leave a Comment  

You Without Me

I only see you in pictures now
Not ones you send, no.

We do not talk
we do not communicate
Instead we observe each other
from a distance
both not wanting to let
the other know.

Today I saw a picture of you –
being happy without me
having a life outside
of us
of what we used to be.

You are better off without me
you are where you should be
you deserve
someone
anyone
but me.

Beginnings and Endings

I cry
on endings

at the end of a movie
the end of a book
the end of a relationship
the death of a loved one.

I cry
at beginnings

when a new life comes
when two hearts join as one
when there is so much joy in my heart
when my heart overflows with love.

I cry on beginnings and endings.

 
© Greymom