Beginnings and Endings

I cry
on endings

at the end of a movie
the end of a book
the end of a relationship
the death of a loved one.

I cry
at beginnings

when a new life comes
when two hearts join as one
when there is so much joy in my heart
when my heart overflows with love.

I cry on beginnings and endings.

 
© Greymom

You Not Me

You chased me
I did not chase you
You chose me
you forced me to choose you
you picked me
I had to pick you
You make me
But I did not make you.

© Greymom

Published in: on March 24, 2016 at 10:40 pm  Leave a Comment  
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A Million Little Pieces 

My heart is breaking
a million little pieces
betrayal
hurt
anger
frustration
helplessness.

I sit here in the dark
crying silently
the tears keep falling
not stopping.

I gave up a lot for you –
my friends
my fashion sense
my freedom
my confidence
my family
my life
and now,
it feels like
all of these
were for naught.

I wish you’ll just tell me.
So I can start picking up the pieces.

©Greymom

Not Enough

i will never be enough for you
no matter how i tried
no matter what i do
no matter what i say
it is all for naught
i will not be enough for you.

which now makes me think
why the hell
do i put up with this shit?

i am enough
smart,
articulate,
nice
as most people
who truly see me
describes me as such.

i may not be enough for you
but i am happy to be me.
© Greymom 

Published in: on March 20, 2016 at 12:53 am  Leave a Comment  
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What I Used To Be 

I used to have a life

I used to have feelings

I used to have friends

 I used to have dreams

I used to have my own thoughts

I used to make my own decisions

I used to be happy

I used to be me. 
© Greymom 

Published in: on March 16, 2016 at 7:24 pm  Comments (3)  
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Just Wondering 

I wonder what you’re doing

I wonder if you’re okay

I wonder if you think of me

I wonder if you dream of me 

I wonder if you remember

I wonder if you care. 
©  Greymom

Published in: on March 5, 2016 at 2:42 am  Leave a Comment  
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1:03 am thoughts

I am in bed
but awake

perusing words of strangers
Taking it all in
the anguish
the sadness
the joy
the angst
life
And I try to sort my emotions,
a kaleidoscope of feelings –
longing
regret
fear.
Sleep eludes me
eyes wide open
cocooned in my blanket
my body tired
thoughts racing

I am in bed
but awake.

Published in: on March 5, 2016 at 2:29 am  Leave a Comment  

Welcome Back

You’re back
After 5 months, you’re back
I should be happy,
with a smile on my face
and a positive vibe

But –
why do I feel sad?
I feel like you are leaving a piece of you behind
the place you used to live
and I am sad for you.

I can feel your pain
the isolation
the lost nights and days

I am helpless.

If I can take your pain
if I can shelter you under my arms forever
if I can chase the bad dreams away
if I can shield you from anything bad
I will.

I know that this is a part of growing up,
of life
something that you must face
but I feel what you feel
I can feel the anguish
the uncertainty
the remorse
of leaving something, 
someone
behind. 

And I die with you
my heart is breaking into little pieces
and the tears keep falling

You’re back
and I am sad. 
© Greymom 

Published in: on February 28, 2016 at 10:23 pm  Leave a Comment  
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