Of Christmas trees and flickering lights 

  For the first time in forever,
there was no sadness nor loneliness.
None of the melancholy I feel
every Christmas time.

The tree is up,
the lights are on
and I am so glad to be home.

Colder days, awesome nights

      

It is getting colder again and I am happy. 

There is something about the cool breeze on my face,
the moon shining bright above
and the stillness of the night
that evokes nostalgia in me.
Good memories, mostly.
Memories of my youth,
of innocence
and simpler times. 

And so I wait
for the night time —
where I can go back
to what once was
and smile
as I remember. 

Lost

I cry
For the me that i lost
For the me that was strong
For the me who says what she wants to say,
do what she wants to do

I wish
One day I will find my voice
I will stand up on my own,
say what I want to say
Do what i want to do.

I wonder
When
And how
And where?

Published in: on October 7, 2016 at 10:13 pm  Leave a Comment  

You Without Me

I only see you in pictures now
Not ones you send, no.

We do not talk
we do not communicate
Instead we observe each other
from a distance
both not wanting to let
the other know.

Today I saw a picture of you –
being happy without me
having a life outside
of us
of what we used to be.

You are better off without me
you are where you should be
you deserve
someone
anyone
but me.

Beginnings and Endings

I cry
on endings

at the end of a movie
the end of a book
the end of a relationship
the death of a loved one.

I cry
at beginnings

when a new life comes
when two hearts join as one
when there is so much joy in my heart
when my heart overflows with love.

I cry on beginnings and endings.

 
© Greymom

You Not Me

You chased me
I did not chase you
You chose me
you forced me to choose you
you picked me
I had to pick you
You make me
But I did not make you.

© Greymom

Published in: on March 24, 2016 at 10:40 pm  Leave a Comment  
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A Million Little Pieces 

My heart is breaking
a million little pieces
betrayal
hurt
anger
frustration
helplessness.

I sit here in the dark
crying silently
the tears keep falling
not stopping.

I gave up a lot for you –
my friends
my fashion sense
my freedom
my confidence
my family
my life
and now,
it feels like
all of these
were for naught.

I wish you’ll just tell me.
So I can start picking up the pieces.

©Greymom

Not Enough

i will never be enough for you
no matter how i tried
no matter what i do
no matter what i say
it is all for naught
i will not be enough for you.

which now makes me think
why the hell
do i put up with this shit?

i am enough
smart,
articulate,
nice
as most people
who truly see me
describes me as such.

i may not be enough for you
but i am happy to be me.
© Greymom 

Published in: on March 20, 2016 at 12:53 am  Comments (2)  
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