Semi-Hiatus

It’s been a whole lot of fun - the beach vacation. We spent 4 days and 3 nights by the beach and we have the tan to prove it. The Fisherman had a great time fishing whenever he felt like it. He was rewarded with 25 pieces of blue fish that are now comfortably encased in gallon ziploc bags, waiting to be devoured by the family.
We went with another family which made it more fun and cost effective. We brought pre-cooked meals that we can just microwave whenever needed. I baked enough cupcakes, bread and pastries enough to food an army. Soda, juice and milk and some wine and beer washed ‘em all down and we were content and happy. At least we didn’t have to think about what to cook for the next meal, nor did we spend time making them. Instead it was all a walk to the beach, the kids catching the waves and me and my Mommy friend soaking up the sun underneath a beach umbrella. The sand in our toes, me and my straw hat and a bottle of ice cold water. We took in the scene - young men and women parading in their bikinis and surf shorts, all tan and buff. My friend and I looked at them and reminisced about the days when we were just as fit and trim. Ahhh, youth.

Going back home, we were bombarded with the reality of life once again - SOLs, housework, office work and what-have-yous. We once again fell in the routine of our daily lives. And looked forward to another vacation in the distant future.

TheFisherman and I decided to forgo with our home improvement projects. We opted to build memories instead. And so yes, the money that would have gone to the projects will now go to vacations and spending time with the family. It’s a better investment that a beautiful patio or a flagstoned stoop.

School will be out for the Tweens in just a few days, June 12th to be exact. And they are counting down the days while I am still reeling from the fact that school lets out early this year.

The MIL’s visit has been postponed due to a health related cause. And now it looks like my BIL might come with her too.

Overall, it has been crazy in our household lately. I wish I can crunch more hours in a day. But for now I will survive. And brace myself for what is to come.

I might not be able to blog a lot, if at all, for a while. I will try my best. I miss “visiting” my blogger friends and reading about their lives and stories. I will do so one day once the craziness has died down. For now I will be on semi-hiatus. Hope y’all have a great summer!

The Continuing Saga of the Insensitive Friend

Insensitive friend strikes again!
IF: Hey, whatchadoin?
Me: Oh, you know, puttering around the house.
IF: I am so bored! I don’t know how you do it!
Me: Well…
IF: I mean, how can you stay at home day in and day out, attending to your children’s and husband’s needs? Don’t you get bored? I am so glad my maternity leave ends in a few weeks. But you! You’re stuck there for the long haul.
Me: You see, (formulating a snappy comeback)
IF: Well, gotta go, the baby needs to be fed.
Me: (reluctantly)Bye.

Spring Projects Galore

It has been a whirlwind of activity once again as we welcomed Spring. This is the time where people suddenly come out of hibernation, soak in the sun and do crazy things like jogging, take a sudden interest in gardening, and pretty much whacking every weed, bush and greenery they see in their yard. TheFisherman is no exception. He’s an avid gardener but Spring especially brings out the Outdoorsy type in him. He treks to the Home Depot and takes on projects quicker than you can say I-have-to-do-everything-this-Spring. The sunporch/sunroom roof has been fixed by the contractors, who after tasting our home cooked meal, suddenly didn’t want to leave. The 1 1/2 day project stretched out to 3 days and I scrambled to prepare their coffee, snacks, lunch and dinner. It was tiring but fun at the same time. For someone to appreciate my cooking was the best compliment. They particularly liked the biko -sticky rice cooked in coconut milk and sugar. I made some for them to take home and they said they ate it with ice cream. After they have left, TheFisherman decided we needed to give the ceiling and floor a fresh coat of paint. Which we did one weekend.
It doesn’t stop there.
TheFisherman also plans to make a paved patio, flagstone the stoop, change all the bathroom fixtures and God knows what else. Oh and yes, he also just recently re-seeded the whole front yard. He bought a whole dump truck load of top soil which they dumped in the middle of the driveway and which we shoveled and wheelbarrowed for 3 days. My biceps and shoulder muscles were screaming! The neighbors were all slowing down as they passed by and saw this huge pile of dirt. The perplexing looks on their faces saying “what the?” One neighbor finally came up to me and asked: “what’s going on, Mary?” I managed to respond between shovelling : “we can’t afford a gym membership”. To which she laughed and left me grunting and sweating. I secretly wished this whole thing is going to be worth it. The image of me sipping iced tea in the front yard admiring my green green grass kept me going.
Right now the huge pile has been reduced to a field of dirt scattered with grass seeds and fertilizer which TheFisherman dutifuly waters every day.
Yesterday, he looked at me while watering the lawn and said: “so we’ll get the flagstone this weekend?”

New Look

Thanks to all those who greeted me on my 1st blogversary. It is comments from people all over the globe that makes us feel connected and appreciated. In fact I can open up a lot in my blog and vent to my heart’s content knowing that somewhere someone out there must be going through the same stuff I am. That makes it bearable and that makes blogging worthwhile.

That said, how do y’all like my new look? I thought that after a year, it was time to shed my old skin and don a new one. Of course I haven’t gotten round to tweaking it yet as I’ve been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Tween2 has been sick for almost a week now and his Pediatrician did some tests, the results of which we are still awaiting. For now he stays here at home with me, watching TV and resting. Poor kid has bags under his eyes like a journalist on a deadline. It is for this reason that we weren’t able to go to the Cherry Blossom Festival. I could have gotten lots and lots of pictures of pretty flowers and picturesque scenes. Instead, we are at home. Oh well, maybe next weekend.

We are also having some work done in the sunroom/sun porch. And what was supposedly a 1 1/2 days work turned out to be 3 days. So 1 sick kid + 1 contractor + 2 workers = Mom’s messed up routine. Note how I did manage to sneak up some blogging time though (wink wink).

And so once again, thanks to all those who greeted me. Here’s to another year.

Forever Young

There comes a point in your life when you’re officially an adult. Suddenly, you’re old enough to vote, drink, and engage in other adult activities. Suddenly, people expect you to be repsonsible, serious… a grown up. We get taller, we get older. But do we ever really grow up?

 In some ways we grow up. We have families, we get married, divorced, but for the most part, we still have the same problems that we did when we were fifteen. No matter how much we grow taller, grow older, we are still forever stumbling, forever wondering, forever young.

—— Meredith Grey——-

I have always thought that 30 was ancient. I was a teenager then. And I thought that once you get married and have kids, then your life falls into a routine where there are certain expectations for you to meet. Certain obligations, restrictions and responsibilities. And I thought you stop growing and hoping and dreaming.

Boy was I wrong! Now that I am in my 30’s, I don’t feel like I’m any different than I was in my teenage years. True, I know better now and there are certain things that opened my eyes and came to realizations about but I don’t feel any different.

Although my body tells otherwise - the weight that can easily slide off with just a simple diet and exercise now takes harder work, the 20/20 vision now gets eyeglasses for “night driving”, the flawless skin now gets slathered with moisturizers, the Glamour, Allure and beauty/fashion magazines now gets replaced with Better Homes and Gardens, Domino and Family Circle magazines, the perfume I used to love now gets replaced with the smell of sanitizer and baby lotion and the endless parties of drinking now gets replaced with family time and wholesome parties. But deep inside, I am still the same old 15 year old who sings at the top of her lungs in the shower, dances when no one else is watching and tries on models clothes I’m wearing to the next party.

Now I know that life does not stop when you turn a certain age. Life goes on. And you keep learning new things, experiencing new sensations and dreaming dreams you’ve never had back when you were younger. Life goes on. And you are forever young.

“What a Waste!”

I was with some of my friends and in the course of the conversation , somebody mentioned a friend of ours who suddenly had to stop working. Here’s how the conversation went:

Friend1: Is she working right now?
Me: No. She’s staying home with her 3 year old. (she has another daughter who’s in school)
Friend2: She said she enroled her 3 year old at the daycare center and her daughter didn’t like it there.
Friend1: Really? What a waste!
Me: Well, that’s fine as it’s a temporary thing. (They were going to move so it wouldn’t make sense. But she didn’t want to divulge details)
Friend2: Yes, it’s fine by her. It’s her choice.
Friend1: Such a shame because she’s a nurse.
But Friend1 kept on saying that it’s such a shame that this friend of hers is staying at home and not working. She kept saying that it’s such a waste. I was deeply affected by this because hello! Number one, I am not working either. So does that make me a waste too? Does she feel that I am wasting my time staying at home with my kids? Doesn’t she understand that there are sacrifices parents do for their children? That it’s a temporary thing and one day she’s going back to work again? I was reeling from shock because I did not expect that this friend of ours had the audacity to say those things in front of me. I was the only SAHM present and I was too dumbfounded to say anything. I let it slide but told my husband about it that night.
Me: Babe, did you know that Friend1 thought that it’s such a shame that our friend is staying at home with her kids right now? She kept saying “what a waste” as if that’s a forever thing.
TheFisherman: Well, sometimes other people do not see beyond the here and now.

That was food for thought. And I had to agree. There are people who thinks that just because I’m a SAHM I have all the time in the world. The reactions usually is of :
a) envy - wow, how lucky you are! you get to stay at home all day and shop and do lots of fun things!
b) disgust - well, can’t you work part time? your kids are tweens now, they can handle themselves.
c) demeaning - oh really? I guess not all of us wants a career and earn money
I do not know how to reply every time because it’s none of their business. I do not feel the need to explain myself and enumerating all the reasons and stating all the pros and cons. Nor do I feel like going through the financial report of our household. But there are times when I am so tempted to step up to my soapbox and really tell them everything. But that’s a waste of my time and energy. 

The New Year

 I am finally feeling better now. Gone are the sniffling, hacking, blown-up-head-like-a-balloon feeling. I can finally say that I am better. Two weeks was such a long time to suffer but at last I am well. And great timing too! Our social calendar is filling up again after about a month’s lull. The kids are happy again to go to the parties and get-together where they get their fill of sodas and sugary concoctions they sneak out when all the adults are busy. The Fisherman is happy to meet up with his buddies and share fish stories, if you know what I mean. And I will once again bask in the glorious companionship of women like me - sharing stories about love, life, motherhood, religion, politics and celebrities. We will all have a great time and it is once again a chance for me to try out new recipes for the pot luck dinners. I have gained quite a reputation as a good cook and baker and I will take whatever small achievements I can.

The weather’s nicer now. It has been unseasonably warm for a February even though Punxsutawney  Phil saw his shadow signalling 6 more weeks of winter. The Fisherman told me yesterday that he is still hoping for one snow day to which the kids agreed. I, on the other hand, am just lucky the sun has made an appearance delivering me from yet more bleak, dark and lonely days. The sun is finally shining and I am glad. I even brought up the topic of camping with friends and we will be discussing it on the next get-together. I’m making plans, a good sign, I guess.

I decided to re-name/christen my family. As you probably noticed, FishermanHubs is now The Fisherman. And since I was getting tired of calling my kids alphabets by their first initials, I finally settled on Tween1 and Tween2. The resemblance and similarity is uncanny with Dr. Seuss’ characters, I tell you. As for me, I did undergo one change and that has something to do (again) with my hair. I’m wearing it shorter now and it is straight once again. I will decide one day, probably in the spring, whether to get another perm or color it. For now it is stick straight and black. Just the way I want it. For now.  

I feel like New year is just starting for me. I felt like December and January was such a blur that it is only now that I feel the new year. Well, today is after all the Chinese New Year and I am part Chinese on my Mom’s side so my calendar is not off.

I am optimistic about this year. I decided to be pro-active and take charge of my life. Not that I haven’t been but I’d be more pro-active. It is such a wonderful coincidence then that I chanced upon Oprah the other day and watched Dr. Oz’s Anti-Aging Secrets  The tips were very informative that I sent an email to everyone I know.

I also decided my sedentary lifestyle is not going to cut it. I have been exercising daily now (at home) and have even ordered a new exercise DVD. My gym buddy and former co-worker called me the other day asking when I’m coming back and I told her we’ll talk about it over lunch next week. A lunch date with my girlfriends is way overdue and I always have a great time with Dee and Chris.

As for my diet, I am trying my best to eat less which is really hard because The Fisherman has suddenly gotten into Chef mode. He plays with my new toy too and as a result we have been eating crepes for breakfast every. single. weekend. I am grateful for his help around the house and all but there are times when I wish he’d lay off the kitchen. But hey, I still am lucky and I reminded my kids how lucky they are that both of their parents cook. They agree and Tween2even said: “Did you know everyone gets jealous of me? It’s because I always bring good lunch. Everyone wishes you’re their Mom”. Aaawww!

So I’m good. The sun is shining, the weather’s nicer, I’m all better now and life goes on.

Happy New Year!

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

It has been a while and a lot has happened. Sometimes life gets faster than we can write about it and sometimes we get caught up in the moment and in the end we forget about certain things. We try our very best to process every goings on in our lives, not wanting to miss a single moment. Through the tears and laughter, the good and the bad. Here are some I remember so far:

The Bad (and Ugly)

 I’ve been sick for almost 2 weeks. I think this is a curse from the God of exercise. When I cancelled my gym membership and stopped going, baking and cooking and eating too much just added to the problem. Hence I am now overweight, depressed and my fridge is full of baked goodies (if I don’t get to it first). I’ve had the misfortune of experiencing the following signs and symptoms (in no particular order): migraine, sinusitis, diarrhea, cold, cough, chest congestion, middle ear infection and pink eye. I am getting the impression that someone put a horrible spell on me. What next?

The Good

 In every bad news, there has to some good. That’s what I tell my kids - that for something to be good, there has to be some bad. Life’s way of balancing things out. They believe me and I do too. Although I did not get my iPhone (yes I am still sulking about this big time!), I did get an unexpected surprise from The Fisherman - a red, shiny piece of equipment that I have been salivating over in the past few years. And while it makes me such an uncool Mom for coveting this piece of equipment, I do not care. For I can do a lot of cool things with it. I can bake beautiful pastries, bread and cakes and pies. And my handheld mixer will be put to rest. Well, not really, because I am attached to my things. I refuse to give away my handheld mixer. But this big, shiny thing has now a place on my countertop. And so without further ado ——

The Kitchen Aid Professional Mixer

Big, Red and Shiny! Yes, red is a happy color!

All in all, I might be sniffling and my eyes might be red and itchy and my head feels like a giant balloon blown up to the heavens but I am okay. I am happy with my new piece of equipment. And yes, I might be baking more and concocting gooey, sweet stuff but who cares? For now I am happy with my new toy. Consider this my pre-iPhone gift

New Hair, New Hairdresser

There are times in a woman’s life when she feels unattractive, too fat or just need a change. For me, it was all of the above. Aside from the fact that I gained weight after cancelling my gym membership (was paying and not going. Waste of time. Big mistake. Thunderthighs  and muffin top are a testament to the fact that I shouldn’t have canceled), my hair was as long as my bra clasps. The yummy curls I had was now reduced to pathetic bean poles hanging from my head. And so I decided to have a haircut despite protests from my boys, particularly the youngest one G. I assured him that I won’t have it really short.

I didn’t want to wait for my Korean friend Y to take me to the hairdresser. And I didn’t want to run the risk of getting a bad hair day just in case my instructions get lost in translation, I then decided to trek to the mall and get a haircut from one of those haircutting chains. My aunt and I had a good haircut from one of the hairdressers there and I was hoping she was still there. To my delight, she was. And so I specifically asked for her despite the 2 or 3 other hairdressers hovering, eyeing me as if I am a hippopotamus and they the lions waiting for the kill. R the hairdresser then sat me on the chair. She is, by the way, Asian too. I only trust my hair to fellow Asian women, nothing personal. I feel as if, sharing the same hair color and type, they understand me better. She had this very chic short hair with big dangling earrings and cool eyeglasses. Before I was able to tell her what I would like to do with my hair, she fingered my hair and tsk tsked.  With a stern look on her face, she said: “you had a perm and it was a bad perm”. What? this lady’s a genius! This is the first time I’ve been back since maybe 3 years ago and she remembered I had straight hair? But then I remembered that she does this for a living and she probably recognizes what you did to your hair at first glance. “Yes, I had a perm” I meekly replied. Feeling like a scolded child for doing something to my hair and she was not the one who did it. That I went to someone else instead of her. “How long ago was that?” peering at me through her glasses I felt like I was in the principals office instead of the hairdressers. “Four months ago”. “What? Had your perm been done the right way you wouldn’t have lost your curls like this.” I protested that this is the longest time I’ve been with a perm and that my stick straight hair is just plain stubborn but she didn’t pay attention. She then told me the correct way to perm the hair and had I taken care of it, it would have lasted a long time. So I told her it’s okay for now. All I need is a trim because I am getting tired of my hair and made a promise that if I need another perm I’d go to her. That seemed to satisfy her and so we compromised on me getting a trim.

Only after I was seated and she was chopping off layers from my hair did I know that she is in fact, an artist. (Which probably explained the temperament a little bit). She is into orchids and has a greenhouse, she does photography and goes into competitions. She said there is no money on art and so she cuts hair. That settled me right there and decided that this is going to be my regular hairdresser from now on.

I went out of there with a nice new haircut which earned a thumbs up from the boys.

And so, here it is, I present - my hair:

Told you I shouldn’t have cancelled the gym membership.

Restriction schmestriction!

What do you do when something you want to do is restricted by your husband? Do you give in and just resign yourself to this horrible fate? Or do you fight back and stand your ground? In my case, I did both.

When FishermanHubs restricted my yard sale shopping a couple of months ago, I reluctantly agreed. But deep inside, I know I can never turn back on yard sale, flea market, vintage store, bargain shopping. And so I devised an evil plan - I called on the help of my friends and asked them to clean their closets and declutter our lives. Yup, I told them that we will be hosting a multi-family yard sale. At first we scouted flea market listings so we don’t have to do the advertising ourselves. All we needed to do was pay for a table and we’re in business. Another friend had a better idea: why don’t we do it in someone else’s front yard, have a pot luck/barbecue and the kids can all gather and play in the backyard. It sounded like a plan and that’s what we did. Everybody was happy, we unloaded a lot of stuff (whatever didn’t sell was donated to the Salvation Army), we had fun while doing it and earned money too.

And so after emptying the attic, I turned around and bought more stuff. Silently, slealthily and carefully.

Here then are some of my yard sale finds:

sterling silver earrings still in box, shaped like flowers with punched dot effects - $2.50 (the Lady was asking $5.00 but I got it down to $2.50)

black and white photos of local places in the area. I was kicking myself when I got home for not buying everything. These would look really nice framed in black. The seller said her sister took these shots themselves, mounted them and never got round to framing them. $0.25 each

These were just some of my finds. I am getting really picky now and not buying something just ’cause I like it. I am, after all, restricted.