September 11

Where were you on Sept. 11?

This was a question that, until now, is being asked by people of each other. There are so many events that happened in my life that I can barely remember but this one is so clear in my mind. The sympathy and horror is still the same as it was on that fateful day.

I was cleaning the bathroom that day and my oldest son C was in preschool, FishermanHubs was at work and it was just me and youngest son G at home. I turned on the radio, something I do while cleaning up - listening to music while cleaning is my thing. Instead of music, the ramblings of a radio announcer wafted through the airwaves. Thinking that it was the hourly news report, I didn’t pay attention and proceeded to put cleanser on the tub. 30 minutes into scrubbing and still, Mr. Radio Announcer was still talking. Not wanting to change the radio station, I turned on the TV and saw the twin towers smoking. I slumped on the floor, rubber gloves in my hand and watched in horror as I heard the news - America is under attack. Tears welled up in my eyes as I thought about the many people trapped inside the building. They were someone else’s Moms, Dads, Uncles, Aunts, Sisters, Brothers, Grandparents. I wondered how many Filipinos were inside and I sobbed. My husband called me on the phone and told me the news, he just heard himself. “What do we do with C?”, I asked. “Better call the school and find out but I bet they’ll keep them there”. I wanted to run and pick up C there and then but I calmed down and called the school. Husband was right. They were indeed keeping the kids in school, on lockdown until it’s safe. “When do you think will it be safe?” I said. “We don’t know, Ma’am but rest assured that the kids are safe inside the schools”. I wanted to tell her: “but what about those people in those buildings? weren’t they supposed to be safe working in their offices that they’ve been working in day in and day out?” But I bit my tongue and thought she was affected as I am.

I kept G preoccupied with his Disney movie and I went back to watching the news. The Pentagon was hit, so close to home. Friends and neighbors related that they felt the boom and saw the smoke coming from the Pentagon, I didn’t bother to check. Traffic was a mess as people were scrambling to go home. I had goosebumps the whole time I was watching the whole attack. The images of the smoking building, of people jumping, of pedestrians all covered with white ash was so vivid even after the whole ordeal. I cursed whoever was responsible for the many lives of innocent people. And prayed for the people who left families behind.

America has never been the same. People have never been the same. We will never understand what kind of human being would plan and execute such horrific thing. As a result, our lives have been disrupted and we will never, ever be the same.

Women and Their Lover/Killers

On the news is yet another woman allegedly killed by her boyfriend. She was 9 months pregnant. This is such a terrible thing and I cannot understand how a horrendous crime happens to a woman and that it is usually her boyfriend/husband who did this. There was Lacey Peterson, a much publicized missing person’s case. It drew so much media attention because she was 9 months pregnant too and her husband acted peculiarly during the time she was missing. They even did a made-for-TV-movie on Lifetime about Scott Peterson which, according to reviews, were eerily accurate. Dean Cain’s portrayal was so convincing that you’d hate him while watching the movie. I didn’t watch it so I wouldn’t know.

One of the things I cannot really comprehend is how the person who promised to cherish, honor and be with you in sickness and in health end up to be the person to kill you. As in the case of Lacey who was killed by her husband. He was a scumbag to begin with for him to have an affair with another woman while his wife was pregnant. But to kill her and her unborn child? His unborn child too? This is one of the many cases but one of the most recent ones that I can remember but is very much the same scenario. Husband/Boyfriend kills pregnant wife/girlfriend. Well if he didn’t love the person anymore, why can’t he just leave the woman. No reason to kill her! It makes me so mad! One minute he’s being caring and loving and thoughtful and the next he kills? I cannot bear the thought of having someone I sleep with, whisper sweet nothings to and share every waking day with and turn out to the be the same person who takes my life. I shudder at the thought how someone who “cares and loves you” turns out to cold bloodedly kill you.

I feel really sorry for these women who are victims of such crimes. I can only offer my prayers to their families who they left behind.

Virginia Tech shooting

Yesterday was slated to be the memorial day for the victims of the Virginia Tech massacre. Maroon and orange is Virginia Tech’s school colors and people wore maroon and orange shirts or just maroon or orange as a sign of respect. The boys wore maroon and orange for school. They handed out maroon ang orange ribbons at the gym where I work out and all of us wore it on top of our gymwear.
I am deeply saddened by the senseless deaths of the victims. Most of them were so young! One student haven’t even decided yet what to major in. No one can really comprehend what was going on in the shooter’s mind when he did these heinous acts. He was allegedly depressed, bullied and a loner. That is not an excuse of course to kill people but it certainly fit the profile of a violent person. Watching crime shows, forensic shows, shows on serial killers, shouldn’t someone have picked up the red flags on this person? And the parents! They have not come out (probably for fear of retribution) but shouldn’t they have at least issued a statement of apology for the victims’ families? Why didn’t they seek help when they saw that their child was a deeply troubled man? Why didn’t they send him to counseling? So many questions but no clear answers.
I refuse to watch the shooter’s videos that he sent to NBC nor do I want to look at his pictures which is very disturbing to be shown to children.
Speaking of children, the school newsletter suggested that we should talk to kids about this incident in an age appropriate manner. I spared the kids the pictures though and DH barred them from watching the video online. It is such a sad sad world we live in now and as parents we try our best to protect our children from such atrocities and make sure that we provide them with a safe and loving place - here, beside us.